#dang staph this hurts

[moodysnowflake]

Pain spectrum

[pandabearlikes]

Temporary Affairs II

Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Chapter o9.  His True Love

  With your head buried in Jongin’s chest, you sniffed his scent that always had the ability to calm you through your most trying times.  If anyone asked you to describe the scent, you’d simply describe it as the fragrance of the most perfect man in this entire world – unique and special, limited edition, just for you. 

  Yoona tumbled in your tummy – really, her way of saying, “Good Morning, Omma!”

  “Good Morning too, Sweetpea,” you chimed.

  The male sleeping next to you stirred so you quieted down to not disrupt his sleep. 

  The baby continued to create different shapes and formations inside your stomach.  You watched parts of your belly raise then fall.  Taking your hand, you followed the pattern, guessing where she’d kick next by lightly tapping on different areas as if playing whack-a-mole.  When the theatrical movements ended, you sighed contently.

  “Yoona, thank you so much for staying,” you’d been vocally saying on a daily basis to remind yourself of your blessing. 

  A light peck landed on cheeks.  You turned to your side to see that Jongin had already woken up.  He gazed at you with those dark dreamy eyes again.  Internally melts.  Even the baby is melting, I swear Oppa.  So staph.  Staph.  But he continued and you don’t turn away, already captured way too deep to escape. 

  “I love you,” he said and you winced.  I know…I know you do.   

  But you don’t say a word.

  Suddenly an agonizing ache radiated from your lower back to your stomach.  You groaned, clutching your abdomen in panic. 

  “Jagiya??  What’s wrong?!” Jongin anxiously questioned, sitting upright.   

  “Oppa…Oppa…it hurts,” you bit your lip and clawed his arm. 

  “I’ll go get the doctor,” he said, jumping off the bed. 

  “Noo, can…can you help me to the bathroom?” you asked shyly. 

  He blinked, confused then mouthed a “oh”.  Supporting your back, Jongin slowly walked you over to a small cubicle in your hospital room, IV drip and all.  As he waited outside the bathroom, you massaged your cramping legs and throbbing back.  You mentally laughed at the thirteen-year-old you who thought having her period was the most painful thing in the world.  Well, she sure didn’t know the feeling of having a six-pound baby sleeping on her bladder and her bladder shifting to another region of her body, in turn causing all your intestines to reorganize like some tetris game.  What did that mean?  That meant constipation.  YES, CONSTIPATION.  You groaned willing for your body to release the toxic parts of you. 

  “Jagiya, are you okay?” your husband asked for the fifth time, getting impatient. 

  You looked at your watch and realized twenty minutes had passed.

  “I’m…fine,” you answered, weakly. 

  “…Jagiya, can you let me in?” he asked.

  No…nnoo…why would you want to come in?  No, of course I won’t let the love of my life smell the odor of my waste…

  “I’m really fine,” you tried to convince, but you ended up groaning again when you strained.

  “Please?” Jongin pleaded, trying to turn the doorknob but you kept it locked. 

  “Oppa, I’m fine,” you repeated.

  “I’m going to break the door,” he said sternly and you could almost imagine him backing up to gather momentum to slam into the door. 

  “NOOOOOOO!” you shouted then twisted the lock, “It’s open!” 

  Immediately, your husband opened the door and walked in.  You hung your head, expecting him to either complain about the smell or laugh at your pain, but instead he squatted down in front of you and stroked your hair. 

  “Can you let me stay with you until you’re done?” he questioned.  Omg, why are you so dumb you handsome man?  Can you not smell the scent of rotten eggs and onion? 

  You opened your mouth to answer but a loud splitting wet fart echoed in the cubicle.  Omg.  Out of humiliation, you buried your face in your legs. 

  “Aww,” Jongin hummed, and stood up, bringing your head against his stomach. 

  Squirming you begged, “Oppa, can you go out?” 

  “Why?”

  “Because this is embarrassing!” you confessed.

  “What is?” he questioned, chuckling at your shyness. 

  You parted your lips to answer but another unappealing noise sounded.  Flushing bright red, you hid your face in his abdomen.  He curled his arms around your head and you looped yours around his hip.    

  “What’s so embarrassing about pooping?  We all do it. Just let me stay with you so I’m not driving myself insane with worry,” he soothed. 

  Pouting, you reasoned, “But it smells so bad in here”.        

  “Smells like rainbows and cherry blossoms to me,” he joked, sniffing in the scent to demonstrate.  Omg, you Pabo.  I love you so much. 

  You whimpered and slapped his arm playfully. 

  “I love you, Jagiya,” he said. 

  “I know, you Pabo,” you responded and he bent over to peck your pouting lips.  Omg, I swear I’m going to die in the hands of Kim Jongin. 

  “I love you,” he repeated, standing up again to massage your back.  I know, Pabo.  You just told me that ten seconds ago. 

  “Why do you love me?” you asked, more to deter his attention away from another incoming windy noise than actually waiting for an answer. 

  “Because my wife is so lovable,” he started.

  You cut him off, “No, I’m not.  I’m so childish and crude.  I swear a lot and I have a child’s diet.  I’m picky and I annoy you all the time”.

  “But you’re passionate and hardworking, honest and bubbly, always puts other’s before yourself…” he countered. 

  You rolled your eyes and cut him off again, “You’re exaggerating”.

  “I’m not!” he sounded offended.

  “Am I really that good?” you asked.

  “I’m not even done listing.  Jagiya, stop cutting me off,” he laughed then continued, “You can be so cute, yet sexy, yet elegant all at the same time.  Your eyes are the biggest, most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life,” he lifted your chin so he could gaze into them, “they’re so innocent like a baby’s but curl outwards like sexy cat eyes”.

  You looked at him skeptically. 

  “And best of all, when you smile, they twinkle like stars and curve into arches,” he detailed.

  “So you fell in love with my eyes?” you jokingly questioned, wrapping your arms tighter around his hip. 

  “I’m not done yet.  There was this defining moment when we dated that I knew I was falling in love,” he started again.

  You raised your brow at him.  

  “Remember when you got super sick that one time?” he questioned, his eyes smiling down at you. 

  “…Uh…no?” you admitted and he pouted like a lost puppy so you tried your hardest to dig through your memory, “…you mean the first time you let me use your jacket?”  But that was so long ago…that’s impossible that he liked me that early on…

  His face instantly lit up and he nodded happily that you remembered, “I was so upset…no disappointed?...no more like confused why this girl kept pretending like she wasn’t sick.  All the other girls I dated always whined and complained for me to baby them.  Pftt…one even pretended to be sick to force me to ditch an important basketball tournament.  But anyway, the fact that this silly girl hid her own suffering so that others wouldn’t worry was just so beautiful to me…”

  The whole time as he was talking, you were gazing at his expression…the gentle curl on the corners of his lips…the batting of his lashes when he described your eyes…the twitch of his brow when he talked about the time you were ill…

  And every time you cut him off thinking he was done, he always still had something to add.  It made you wonder how all these qualities you thought were flaws…to this Pabo were strengths. 

  By the time he got to describing the little cute noises you made right before you fell asleep, you had actually been done doing your business for almost twenty minutes but you just let him continue rambling on and on because he looked absolutely delighted and cheerful.  I love you so much, Kim Jongin. 

  A knock on the door disrupted you two from your little world. 

  “________, are you in there?” Minah’s voice asked. 

  “Y-yeahh!” you replied, a bit flustered at the situation. 

  Jongin pouted that his little story of why he loved you got interrupted.

  “You can tell me tonight?” you whispered to comfort the tall, dark, and handsome man.  He nodded so you cleaned up and walked out with him to greet your intruder. 

  Upon seeing you, Minah immediately broke down into tears, apologizing over and over again about the tiny, ridiculous argument you guys had that almost cost you and your child’s life.  And even though you were expecting for her to comfort you, you ended up comforting her instead so she’d stop feeling so guilty. 

  -----

  A few days later, when you were healthy enough to get out of bed, Jongin and you took a stroll around the hospital to loosen up your leg muscles since you’d been lying in bed for so many days.  In your hospital gown and slippers, you waddled down the hall with your husband sturdily supporting your back.  When you passed the nursery, your lips parted in awe. 

  “Oppa!  Look at the babies!” you gasped. 

  Your fingers unraveled and grazed against the window that separated you and the little creatures.  Most of them were asleep but a few were awake, kicking their feet and wiggling their baby grape toes.    

  “They’re so cute!!” you continued to cheer. 

  Beside you, with an arm over your shoulder, Jongin peered into the nursery as well.

  “Hehe,” you giggled when one of the babies responded to your tapping with one of his own. 

  Jongin kissed you on the cheek and stayed still for a little longer than usual.  I’m going to melt. 

  Ecstatic and re-energized from your stroll, your hubby and you began walking back to your room so you could rest your throbbing back.  Jongin stroked your hand with his thumb. 

  As you rubbed your gigantic stomach, you stated, “I can’t believe we still have over three months to go.  I feel like I’m a whale already”.

  “A whale?  Maybe a panda, but not a whale,” Jongin joked. 

  “What does—” you started but something took you by surprise.

  A nurse lost control of her cart and it was sent zooming across the hall toward you.  You just stood there stunned out of your mind, internally screaming for your legs to move but they were rooted onto the tiled floors.  Sensing the dangerous situation, Jongin quickly pulled you over before the cart crashed just centimeters from where you had been standing.  You covered your mouth, wheezing from shock. 

  “Jagiya, are you okay?” Jongin asked but you’re so rattled by the sudden event, you were speechless.

  “Don’t scare me!” your husband said desperately.        

  You looked at him but you couldn’t muster any energy to talk at all.  Instead, your legs grew weak and they caved in.  Jongin instantly sensed your fall, allowing you to rest your entire weight against him.  In his chest, tears started flowing from your eyes. 

  “Jagiya, are you hurt?  Does it hurt anywhere?” he asked fearfully, holding onto you so tightly you thought you were suffocating.

  As you continued to panic and lose yourself in your sobs, your temples began to hurt and the room started to ripple. 

  “Ma’am!  I’m so, so sorry.  Are you okay?!” the nurse spoke but when it got to your eardrums, it sounded like loud thunderous bangs. 

  “Oppa…” you managed to murmur before you fainted into his arms. 

      Two days later, that almost catastrophic event was still bothering you.  Thankfully, Jongin was beside you and you had fainted from your emotions running too high and not because of any physical injury, but it was like a reality check.  What if Oppa wasn’t there?  You held your palm on your stomach protectively.  Yoona had given you a second chance already, you weren’t sure if she would be willing to give you another one.  But you had made a promise to do everything in your power to keep her safe…even if it meant keeping her away from you. 

  Beside you, Jongin held your hand and meticulously helped you cut your long nails.  Silently, you observed him as he cut millimeter by millimeter, making sure not to hurt you.  When he was done snipping, he took a pink filer to smooth out the edges before blowing the dust away.  He motioned you for your other hand and you obediently gave it to him. 

  “Let’s get a divorce,” you surprised yourself by saying. 

  Jongin paused what he was doing and looked up at you. 

  He chuckled and pinched you on the nose, “Stop joking around.  You scared me to death”.

  “I mean it,” you said firmly.  Omg, _______ah, what the heck are you saying.  What’s wrong with you?  Are you ill?  Are you being possessed?  What in the world are you doing??!?!?

  “No,” Jongin said firmly, then resumed giving you a manicure. 

  You harshly pulled your hand from him to catch his attention. 

  “Oppa…let’s get a divorce,” you almost begged.

  “WHY?  I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” Jongin was furious, his nose flaring and lips trembling. 

  “I…”

  “Did Lee Sohee say something to you again!?  I’ll go yell at her!” he shouted.

  “No…no…Oppa…I’m scared,” you said tearfully.

  “Of what?” he asked in a much softer tone. 

  “I’m not fit to be a mother.  Yoona is not safe with me.  I’ll give birth to her and you can keep her and marry another woman,” you said.  Omg, _______ah, what the hell.  Are you out of your mind?  You shook your subconscious away.

  “That’s ridiculous!” Jongin yelled, angry that you even had the guts to say something like that. 

  “No it isn’t!  Oppa, you saw.  I almost killed Yoona twice within one week!” you defended.

  “Jagiya, those are accidents!  It’s not your fault!” he reasoned. 

  Ignoring his rationale, you said, “But I’m scared I’ll hurt Yoona.  I’m so childish and clumsy.  I can’t even take care myself, how am I going to take care of a baby?” 

  “Shhh…it’s fine,” he tried to hush. 

  “No it isn’t, I’m not fit to be a mother,” you continued to argue.

  “Do you not want to be one?” he asked seriously. 

  What?  What do you mean?  You looked at him confused.

  “W-what –”

  “Then we don’t need to have children,” he concluded. 

  You stared at him in complete confusion and utter fear.  Did…he just suggest to get…rid…of…the…baby?

  “We don’t need to have children, if you don’t want them,” he repeated.

  You looked down to your hands and they were shaking. 

  “We’re having six children,” you recalled Jongin requesting when you first announced to him of your pregnancy. 

  “Wh-what…” you sniffled back tears.

  “I just want to be with you.  If you don’t want children then –“

  You slapped him across the face.  Electric currents ran through your hand.  Jongin stared blankly at the white wall of the hospital room.  His cheek turned pink from the blow.  You gasped when you realized what you did. 

  “Oppa, I’m sorry,” you apologized then crumpled into tears. 

  He loved you and that was why he said those things.  Just like how you loved him but for Yoona’s safety you would willingly leave. 

  “Jagiya, please.  Please don’t leave me,” he begged as you two hugged. 

  I don’t want to either.

  “I know…I know being a parent is scary.  I’m scare too but it’s okay because we’re new to this.  It will take time.  Just like how the first time you babysat Youngwoo, it was terrible, right?  But then you got the hang of things and it got better,” he prepped and you nodded, digesting his every word, “but I don’t want you thinking that if anything happens to our child, that it’s your fault, because it isn’t, okay?”

  You nodded into his shoulder. 

  “Jagiya, I love you,” he said.

  “Oppa, I love you too,” you replied. 

            a/n: ~melts into a puddle in front of Jongin~  though if my future hubby ever suggested to get rid of baby I’d punch him across the face xD.  But omg the bathroom scene is my favorite hehehe it’s so reality based.  Hehe you know when a guy’s a keeper if he doesn’t mind the smell of your poopoo tehehe.  ヽ( ´ ∇ ｀ )ノ 

  Sohee’s back next chapter uh oh.  Get your pens ready my unicorns!  We must protect Yoona at all cost!!!!!!!    

[slyni-sparklyeyeshadow-blog]

*Sparkly Eyeshadow*

So, my day started a few hours later than everyone providing a service to the world. Right now, I am in grad school and it has taken its toll on me. Always tired, always stressed, and always (sometimes) studying. My anxiety has been off the charts since starting grad school. It's so not my personality.. so serious. At least during my one-year in the real working world without having mom and dad rescue me at rent-time, I was always around people talking, laughing, and throwing coworker frenemies under the bus when the boss got mad. Now, I am around classmates a few hours a dayor 30 ten-year-olds 40 hours a week. It's really hard to find a happy medium. Emphasis on the happy.

This morning, I hit snooze for an hour per usual and end up waking up at 8:30 instead of 7:30 to finish my paper that I was supposed to start last night. But my gosh, have you seen the Instagram Explore page? Sign me up for a perfect bod, unlimited cash flow, and a travel agent with a keen eye for exotic places.

 My point exactly. Already off track. I wake up and do my ten minutes of quiet time before anything else. *Alright, Ashlee.* I think. *You can do this.*

I get started and am amazed at how I rip through my first paragraph and how bomb my thesis is. Then I zip through the second paragraph and only ten minutes has passed by. I've realized I'm starving and my head is hurting because I have no coffee at the apartment. *Nope, not moving until you get this paper turned in.* So I'm typing and text my boyfriend good morning. Then I check to see if I have any Facebook and Insta notifications. And OH MY WORD I look terrible this morning! Need to wipe the coconut oil off before I Snap anyone. I wonder what filters there are today...

*Focus, Focus, Focus*

Back to the paper. It's fairly easy. At around 10:15 I get stuck because I am so hungry and am so mad at myself because I only have two paragraphs left. I talk myself into going to the Shell Station right around the Corner where I am pretty sure they think I live in the dumpsters with the cats. I look TERRIBLE when I go in there. Usually no make-up, hair pulled back, and my white vans that have more brown on them. I go. Today, I choose Java Monster because the Dunkin' Donuts Coffee I am obsessed with is 90 more calories than my 200 calorie Java Monster and Regina George and I really wanna lose 3 lbs. Like it really matters once I get a Peanut Butter Crunch Cliff bar... which is gone before I return to my apartment within walking distance.

So then I think to myself... it's almost 11. You have an appointment at 1. Why don't you just hop in the shower and fix up today? You look terrible. It'll do yourself some good. Maybe your head will even quit hurting. So I hop in and am already feeling like a productive person that will one day contribute to society. I get out and start my eye make up. *Remember this is the doctor, Ashlee. No silver metallic. Just white sparkles.*

 I line them and paint them and cannot find my eyeliner sharpener. Pretty sure I threw it away after sharpening a pencil and convincing myself that I would get lead poisoning if I sharpened my eyeliner in there, too. So the eye liner could be better today. *Just remember thin lining on top.* 30 minutes has passed by and I realize I need to get with it and this is the doctor's office on a Wednesday at 1:00 pm. Not New Year's Eve in Time Square. So I try to do my foundation "natural" and this means mixing a Mac foundation with Estee Lauder's DoubleWear Foundation. That's easy. Ain't no brown spots seen through that stuff. I blow dry my unruly hair made better with It's a 10 Keratin treatment and BOOM! Lightening strikes my car. Swear. My car alarm is going off. For some odd reason I hide in my closet a second and realize it is lightening. Not a tornado. Either way,  I think my reasoning was because I was far away from windows. Then the weekly panic phone call to mom goes through.

*Mother*

Yes, Ashlee.

*I think lightening struck my car.*

What?

*Like lightening just struck over the apartment and now my car alarm is going off. I think it hit my car.*

Oh, well it could have been the sound from the thunder was so loud, Ashlee. That happens. I don't think lightening would hit your car it's grounded with rubber tires.

*I'll check after the storm. If I touch my car will it shock me?*

No, Ashlee. It won't.

*K, bye. Love you.*

Love you.

 I show up to the doctor's office in white linen pants even though we may have multiple tornadoes today and got there 30 minutes early because my doctor has moved offices and I know finding this office will be like the blind leading the blind. If I know me, I'll find the nicest, youngest looking millennial receptionist that shares my over-reliance of Google Maps and even though she works there every day, she will STILL lead me to a Parking Deck across the clinic and not my doctor's office. 34 minutes later, it is now 1:04, I find my doctor's new office. Another patient and I apparently didn't get a memo or preferred automated message to let us know the office was closed that day. Really? There is an unfinished paper icon sitting on my desktop. That's another phone call crying to mom today. Bless his heart, it would have called my boyfriend but he has heard me cry over the phone every day this week and I am trying to let him think I am having the best, most productive sunshine filled day as possible.

How unprofessional of my doctor! This girl with no current profession makes sure to leave her med school graduated physician a message deeming her unprofessional. I would have threatened to find a new doctor but she has 4 stars online and I decide to keep her. I'm sure she would be so relieved...

*Well half of your day is gone but you can still turn it around. Go to Barnes and Nobles so you can finish your paper around people and not by yourself in your dark room. I go to Barnes and Nobles... finish my paper and knock out two other assigned readings. YES. Just time to get distracted again.

My sister calls. The people in Barnes and Nobles now know my nephew had staph infection on his foot two weeks ago and that my doctor is a dill hole and I could "literally be dying. OMG." I get a lot of looks. Some sympathizing. Some dirty. And decide to go print out the 383874298 pieces of paper my professor e-mailed us. Who needs trees? Not like they give us oxygen or anything.. I drive to Fed-Ex because I broke my printer while Youtubing a video about how to insert the cartridge. Did I mention it starts hailing on my drive? No where to pull over.. whatever. Just drive through it... SLOWLY of course.

At Fed-Ex, one lady is annoyed I e-mailed them with so many attachments to print. Yes, she should be furious with me. They are providing a service and I am PAYING them for it. Thankfully this guy that always gives me free printouts is there. (Okay, that happened one time). I smile at the lady when he offers to help me to let her know that I'm a good paying customer and have built better relationships with her team than she has. APPARENTLY. She literally could care less even though I feel I have really socked it to her.

- That'll be $4.39, Miss *Insert My Last Name*

-thinking to myself * Wow, so glad he can read my gmail account name*

- ALOUD * How is that only four dollars? I printed like a million pages.*

- Well, I guess it could be less. * HE SMILES *

- thinking to myself * EWW. this is why you don't need to wear sparkly eye shadow. You totally send off the wrong message about your future aspirations. *

- I actually respond "Oh! Thank YOU!" He asks how my day goes and I immediately spill the beans about my car getting struck by both lightening and hail and he ensures me I can stay at FedEx as long as I need to.

- thinking to myself *GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!*

- I actually LAUGH and pretend I didn't hear him. "Thank you so much. Stay safe."

So I return to Barnes and Nobles in the hailstorm and continue to read while occasionally looking at the window. A security car has gone by a few times and the driver keeps making eye contact with me. *Really? Is this eye shadow so shiny he can see it through the window?* He keeps staring and I am actually mortified now even though he is supposed to keep all of us Summit Shoppers safe. Naturally, fearfully, I smile. Not a big one. You know, one of those smiles where they are supposed to understand they have no chance - a smile where you show no teeth and you squint your eyes weird. NOT FREAKING TODAY, BUDDY. YES, I SEE YOU AND THIS IS WEIRD. STOP. This is what I call TACT. COOTHE, as my mother has always called it. She says I need more of it. Boy, would I have made her proud today. Would've made up for one of my two panic phone calls...

A minute later, the security truck, not car, quickly comes to a halt in a nearby parking spot. He runs out.

*Oh my gosh. I hope no one has shoplifted a book. Some of the hard covered books are tempting because I want to read them but don't want to spend 30 dollars. I wonder what's going on? Is there a fire in the Starbucks? No, stupid. You are right here. There's no fire at the Starbucks. (Then I sniff the air) REALLY, there is no fire.*

"EXCUSE ME, MISS."

*OH SH*t* I think. Did I do something? Is he going to say he sees me leave the gas station around the corner with a brown bag in my hand way too much in front of all of these people?!?! I always wait until I get home. I would NEVER drink and drive!*

"I was just going to ask if you would like to KICK IT sometime."

*Relieved* Kick what? Oh HANG!

"Yeah, you know, hang out? Get coffee or something."

* thinks to myself, idiot we are IN a coffee shop. "Oh! Ha, I would but I've had a boyfriend going on 4 years now.* (I would NEVER. I have so much coothe...)

"Oh, dang. Well... I hope y'all break up."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I hope y'all break up! Can I still get your number?"

"No!"

"What about your name so I can look ya up on Facebook?"

* thinks to myself WELL MY pictures ARE CUTE..." "Yeah! It's Ashlee. a-s-h-l-E-E." *I put major emphasis on the last two letters of my name. ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE. Just so he doesn't think there should be a Y there. Then, I give him my last name with major emphasis on the phonics so he gets it right.*

"Can I write on this?" Points to bottom of my homework.

"Oh yeah! There's nothing at the bottom." *He still writes my name wrong. Really? Even after that Alex Trebek phonics lesson? Maybe he won't find me now.*

"Okay and I'll leave you my number."

"I don't want-"

"Different area code."

"K, thanks." *I give the tactful smile with no teeth again to send the vibe that he needs to get gone.*

"I saw you through that window and thought THATS A BAD MAMA JAMA!" Apparently he didn’t catch my vibe. Why I hate coothe.

"HAHA... ohhh that's me!" *seriously, please leave before I cry.*

"Have a good day, Ashlee. Call me when you and your boy break up." I then realized he ripped exercise 4 off of my homework.

Umm, what just happened. He runs out to this Security Truck with Green lights on top still flashing. I see him out the window open his Facebook page. I just smile out the window at the events of my day and I start dying out laughing. People in Barnes and Nobles now think I wear too much sparkle eye shadow and cheat on my boyfriend. Good Lord. I quit laughing when I see the looks I'm getting. I wish I could give them all a tactful smile but am too embarrassed. Still can be petty in my head though. *Maybe yall should try sparkly eyeshadow, HATerS!*